The day I was told I might be autistic I had a big fat juicy meltdown (very on brand!) my heart was racing, breath shaking, my chest pounding like Travis Barker was beating it with his drum sticks. I was confused. There was no guide, nothing to look to or reference. I hadn’t seen myself in famous autistic characters like Raymond Babbitt (Rain Man) Christopher Boone (Curious Incident of the Dog in The Night Time) or Sam Gardner (Atypical.) I tried to picture myself as one of those characters but I couldn’t. I’m chatty, outgoing, not good or remotely interested in maths or science and oh yeah… I’m a woman.

It hit me like a Peggy Mitchell style slap in the face,  I had no reference for autistic women in the media. Autism is represented as a one dimension, male stereotype which I believe has not only impacted my understanding of autism but also the acceptance of my diagnosis by myself and those around me.  

We all know autism is a spectrum… it’s in the name people! Yet we have been force fed by the media the same stereotype over and over again, like Bruce Bogtrotter and that gluttonous chocolate cake. It’s usually white men, who love trains, science and space, to put it bluntly (again, very on brand.) Where are all the chatty, messy, awkward and iconic women who didn’t fit this mould? 

It’s not bad luck, it’s misogyny and history honey! Diagnostic criteria is based on male biased understanding, which is still impacting women today. Nazi sympathiser and paediatrician Hans Asperger (namesake of the outdated term Asperger’s) didn’t originally believe girls could be autistic. ‘Alexa play Surprise Surprise by Cilla Black’ As a result women are massively under diagnosed and late diagnosed, including myself. Thanks history! 

That’s when I grabbed my note book and began writing. I wanted to explore my late diagnosis, my experiences and laugh about it along the way. Writing helped me come to terms with my diagnosis. Focusing on my perception of the world through a comedic lens felt empowering and it helped me understand myself and the world around me. Little scribbles and doodles in my notebook slowly turned into ‘I’m Autistic and Also That B!tch’ a semi autobiographical dark comedy about my late diagnosis, lack of post diagnostic support and Hans Asperger…as a drag queen.

Representation matters, not just for individuals but for society as a whole. The media has the power to educate, dispel myths, create empathy and connection all while entertaining. Progress has been made but a more diverse representation of autism in the media is needed, through race, gender, sexuality and age. It is a spectrum after all! 

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